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GETTING RID OF OLD CLOTHES CAN REALLY WRECK YOUR SELF-ESTEEM |
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Author: Viga Boland, webmistress of Vigaland GETTING RID OF OLD CLOTHES CAN REALLY WRECK YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
If you're having a bad day, here's some granny advice: don't start cleaning out your closet to get rid of old clothes!
I did that this past weekend and still haven't quite recovered. My mood was none too good to start with so I decided to get busy doing something other than stare at a computer screen. Getting busy is usually good therapy for me. But this time, it backfired!
For one, the closet was dusty. I began sneezing the minute I started pulling those rags off the hangers. But that was nothing compared to what came next. A lot of the clothing was my mom's. I couldn't quite get rid of it when she passed away 4 years ago (hence the dust ... get it?)
Well mom had some nice things, a lot of it, brand-new, unworn. I began trying on this and that. That's when my mood got worse! Now I always perceived her as being bigger than me ... you know, bigger boobs, bigger belly, bigger butt ... well, guess what! My boobs, belly and butt match hers now. Her stuff fit me fine! That was the last thing I needed: I descended several steps lower into the mosh pit of self-loathing!
I filled up 3 bags, refusing to keep most of her stuff for myself, nice as it was. She was really into floral prints - last thing the incredible hulk here needs to wear! But then came the final blows. Some of my old stuff was hanging in that cupboard ... and not all of it was THAT old. Like maybe a year or two old?
I tugged at pants! Couldn't pull up zippers! My arms wouldn't fit into favourite long-sleeved cotton dresses! The sleeves felt like one of those bands that slowly squeeze your arm to bursting when you're checking your blood-pressure ... you know what I mean? I got some of the stretchy pants and skirts on. And then I turned sideways! If I didn't know better, I'd think I was pregnant. Fat chance ... emphasis on "fat"! My bruised ego was deflating faster than I could think. Into the garbage bag with it all, one piece after another.
In a final desperate effort to salvage just a bit of my self-esteem, I tried on an evening dress I'd worn in an "old people's show" less than 2 years ago. It was black velvet on the bottom with a nice sparkly top. I remembered all the compliments I'd received about how lovely I looked and I had felt attractive for an old girl.
Now this is where I hit bottom! I pulled the dress over my head and as I tugged to get it over those mammoth boobs, I got stuck! I couldn't pull it down and I couldn't pull it off!
So there I am standing in the closet with this dress half on and half off. I didn't know whether to scream or cry. How had I come to this in just 2 years!
In the end, I had to get the hubby to help. Of course, he thought it was hilarious. When he saw I was REALLY upset, he said nice things like "you still look good to me old girl ... " and all that. But it didn't really help. All I could think about was that girl whose 36B's that all the men whistled at years ago were now 40D's and sagging like over-ripe cantaloupes above a watermelon belly! Where had that other girl gone?
So much for down-sizing my closet! The only thing that got downsized was my self-esteem. As for my bad mood, up-sized like the rest of me!
if you enjoyed this post, and want to learn more about the author, Viga Boland, visit her blog at GRANSPEAK
Viga Boland also maintains the blog at VIANVI: VINTAGE and CONTEMPORARY JEWELRY
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