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DIVINE FINDS BLOG
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QUOTE, QUOTE |
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Need a pick-me-up? A laugh? Feeling sarcastic? Looking for that one sentence that says so much?
Maybe you'll find it here at QUOTE, QUOTE!. Enjoy!
MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES:
"No monuments were ever erected to critics, only to those who were criticized" (Author Unknown)
"It's your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude" (author unknown)
"It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always do what you are afraid to do." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit. (Aristotle)
"Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need. (Voltaire)
"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking." (William B. Sprague)
"REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a Living by what we get. We make a Life by what we give.
WORDS OF WISDOM
"The Dalai Lama was asked what surprises him most: "Man, because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then he dies having never really lived."
NOW THIS IS JUST PLAIN FUNNY!
What my Mom taught me:
Religion - "You better pray that comes out of the carpet"
Logic - "Because I said so, that's why"
Irony - "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about"
Wisdom - "When you get to my age you'll understand "
Justice - "One day you'll have kids, I hope they turn out just like you!!"
The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. CEO's are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America. The comfort inn won't leave the light on anymore. A picture is now only worth 200 words. They renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street". Finally, I called the Suicide Hotline and I got a call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck!
I was in in the public restroom - I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall: "Hi, how are you?"........Me: embarrassed, "Doin' fine!"Stall: "So what are you up to?".......Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here."Stall: "Can I come over?" ......... Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!"Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!
The government today announced that it's changing the flag to a CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed. It just doesn't get more accurate than that!
Three surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon said, "Electricians are the best, everything inside is color coded." The second surgeon says, "No, I think librarians are, everything inside them is in alphabetical order" The third surgeon shut them up when he said: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable
Woman's Poem:
He didn't like the casserole
he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard, not like his Mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right,
he didn't like the stew.
I didn't mend his socks the way his Mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer,
I was looking for a clue,
then I turned around and smacked the crap out of him...like his Mother used to do!!!
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